Tony Baran

Every post of mine, ever, sucks.

But at least I am aware of it. 

I think I’m pretty awesome sometimes.

I have no idea where to start.  It would help if I knew what I wanted to say.  Well, I know what I want to say, but I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I’m bragging.  I don’t think anyone cares what I post on my tumblr though.  Who reads this shit anyway?

I’ll start with this:  I think everyone is their own biggest critic, and I hate it.  I hate when people have amazing voices and they tell you that they suck at singing.  I do the same thing, which is why this blog makes little to know sense.  I hate everything I do.  I never feel like what I do is good enough.

On the other hand, I think everyone can be their own biggest fan.  I think I’m starting to follow that a little bit more.  I love pleasing myself.  Sometimes I feel like, “If I don’t, who will?”  I cut my own hair, and I think it looks great - I’ve spent a lot of time looking in the mirror lately - I don’t know if I’ve gotten any compliments on it though.  I just spent an hour trying to figure out how to make a sustain pedal for my keyboard - It’s not exactly a pedal yet, but the sustain works - I haven’t played anything for anyone in three years though.  Who am I trying to impress?  Myself, and that’s all that counts.  

I still have no idea what this post was about.  I don’t know if I should stop before I contradict myself even more, or if I should continue and see what else I can amuse myself with at 2 am.  

…Nothing else for now.  If I get bored enough, I’ll write more.  I’m [this close] to deleting everything I just wrote. 

I’m Lame (A Haiku)

I’m sitting alone.

I’m eating pizza alone. 

I am lame.  So what. 

That was the most fun thing I did all day.  Not really, but close.  

I’m pretty pissed that I woke up today.

Things will get worse before they get better.

I’m Getting Kind of Sick of Life.

No emo - I don’t plan on living past 30.

I Slept Until 5:30 PM Yesterday

And I woke up in a thinking mood. Apparently I had some kind of dream or something, because I have now decided to live a more honest life. Now I’m not talking about lying to my mom about going to the strip club. I’m talking about telling people what I really feel about them.

I decided that I am going to stop caring so much about what people think. Now, I have never really cared about what people think, but I am going to take it to the next level. I’m going to say what I feel and not really care if i hurt your feelings or not. I’m not going to let people walk all over me anymore just because I say whatever I think will make them happy. If I don’t want to talk to you anymore, I’m going to tell you. If I think you’re a shithead, I’ll tell you to fuck off. If I’ve met you once and think you’re cute, I’m going to try to talk to you, because that’s another thing I’m sick of.

“Well, Tony, you’re a great guy and everything and you’re really sweet, but we are just really good friends, and that’s all it’s ever going to be.”

I’m fucking sick of it. From now on, I’m spittin’ game right off the bat. Nick Z says to not be afraid of rejection. I’m finally going to take his advice. These are the years where a dude becomes the man he’s going to be for the rest of his life. I don’t want to be a fucking single fuck that everyone uses as their doormat.

Also, I bought a book today. I have no idea what it’s about, but I really want to start reading like I’ve been saying I was going to for the past two years.

Twenty-three days of high school left and then it’s time for the real world. I’m going to be prepared.

Fuck college, though.

Dear All the Soldiers Battling in the Blog Battle

But mostly Randy.

I’m sorry I gave you shit that wasn’t on your chest.

And Nick, I’m sorry I posted a stupid post.

And Randy, I’m sorry that post was about you.

And Raven, hi.

And that’s about it.

I don’t really remember anything I’ve read over the last hour and a half. Dammit.

Let’s hangout tomorrow and talk.

Also, I edited my last post. Not bashing anyone, just stating a fact.